Am I in an Abusive Relationship?

Abusive relationshipsThe abusive relationship is characterized by inequality. When one partner consistently controls, dominates or intimidates the other, by means of manipulative, punishing or forceful behavior, abuse is occurring.

All couples have power struggles and disagreements at times, but when there is a pattern of control that results in one partner winning on most issues, at the expense of the other’s rights, beliefs and desires, that is abuse.




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64 Ways to Nurture and Take Care of Yourself

Good self care and self nurturing are vital for health.Good self care is vital

  • Take a ‘mental health day’ off.
  • Read an inspirational book.
  • Have a warm drink.
  • Listen to a positive, motivational tape.
  • Write in your journal.
  • Take a warm scented bath
  • Go for a walk
  • Sit in the sun.
  • Have breakfast in bed.
  • Phone a friend.
  • Have a massage. (more…)

13 Tips to Help you Overcome Anxiety

Take active steps to reduce your anxiety.Trying to overcome persistent anxiety is taxing. Our mental response to anxiety is crucial. When we feel anxious, we can fuel the fire by worrying, imagining and anticipating. Self-criticism also increases anxiety. The challenge is to firmly resist negative thoughts and to become as tolerant and supportive of ourselves as we would be to a dear friend. Focusing on practical strategies can relieve the symptoms of anxiety. The following suggestions will give you tools to help you take charge of your situation:

1. Visit your Doctor

Anxiety can be caused by some medical conditions and also some medications. These possible causes should be checked out and eliminated at the outset. (more…)

Breaking the Cycle of Anger and Abuse With Positive Parenting

We can overcome destructive parenting models and develop new behavior to break the cycle.It is a challenging task to bring up a child successfully. It can be deeply distressing to realize we are not being the parent we want to be, particularly if we have experienced inadequate parenting as ourselves as a youngster.

When it comes to parenting most of us have the best of intentions. We may be very clear we do not want to hurt our children as we were hurt as a child. When we begin with this kind of clarity we are likely to make significant steps towards achieving this goal.

Yet, under stress, we may find ourselves slipping into old patterns and falling short of being the kind of parent we so want to be. This is understandable if we have experienced inadequate parenting ourselves and internalized poor parenting models. (more…)

How Close to Burnout Are You?

the symptoms of burnoutDay to day life can be stressful enough but when problems, pressures and extra demands come in we can find ourselves on the slippery slope of burnout.

Burnout is a state of mental, emotional and physical exhaustion that comes from an excessive amount of stress that has gone on for too long.

None of us can continue to function well under constant pressure. We may cope for a time, but stress is cumulative. The affects build up until eventually symptoms appear. Often we are so intent on coping we fail to recognize these symptoms and can become burnout without even realizing what is wrong. (more…)

Finding Your Purpose

Finding our purpose involves setting goals.There are times when the way we are living our life is called into question.

The dissatisfactions we are experiencing may leave us feeling that our life has become ho-hum – somehow lacking purpose. Is this the time for a change?

That thought can create a wave of uncertainty. What would it really mean to change direction? How would it feel to ignore what other people think and simply follow your heart? And if you did allow your heart to be your guide where might it lead you?

Sometimes our feelings of discontentment subside – and sometimes they don’t. We know, deep inside, that it is time for a change – even if we don’t know exactly where this change of direction will take us. (more…)

Do I Have an Alcohol or Drug Problem?

Don't let alcohol or drug abuse undermine your life.If you’re wondering if you have an actual or potential problem with using alcohol, drugs or something else in order to deal with your feelings of emptiness or hurt, take the self assessment by honestly answer the following questions.

  • These measure the impact of using on your life:
  • Do you use alcohol or drugs frequently to manage stress or emotional pain?
  • Have there been times when you’ve missed appointments, been unavailable for work or let people down after using?
  • What have you noticed about how your mood changes when you use?
  • Is your use having an adverse effect on the people close to you?
  • Is using affecting your health?
  • What is the emotional and financial cost to you and your family?
  • Have others expressed concern about your using?
  • Have you behaved in ways you’ve later regretted after using?
  • Have you ever had blackouts or memory losses after using?
  • What do alcohol or drugs provide you with?
  • What do they steal from you?
  • Do you have a family history of alcohol or drug use?
  • Have you tried you give up or reduce before and failed?
  • Based on your history with drugs or alcohol, is cutting back a viable option for you or do you need to stop altogether?
  • What help do you need in order to achieve that goal?

© Copyright Kay Douglas.

Turning Dreams into Reality

Dreams can be turned into realisty if we know how.A dream is an ideal, aspiration or ambition that is dear to our heart. Our dreams are an expression of our true self, as unique as our fingerprints. They are reflections of our passion, talents, hopes and values and the particular purpose we are here to fulfill.

Dreams come in all shapes and sizes: taking a special holiday; finding a job; buying a home; bringing about social change on a particular issue; becoming an adult student; creating a healthy lifestyle; going into business; being able to speak effectively to a group; leaving a destructive relationship; achieving at sports…. the list is endless.

The achieving of dreams is not just for ‘other people’ – the intelligent, talented, privileged or successful – it’s for everyone. (more…)