Quotes

There is enormous power in words. They can offer comfort, inspiration, information, support, insight and hope.

When I wrote my book Invisible Wounds: Overcoming power and control in an abusive relationship I interviewed fifty women about their experiences in abusive relationships. Some of their words are included in these quotes.


 

Change is exciting

 

 

“It was such an exciting moment when I realized it was up to me where I went from here. I could make my life the way I wanted it to be. I had choice!”

 

 

 

 

 

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tough times can be transformed into great growthEW copy

 

 

 

Sometimes unforeseen opportunities emerge from the remnants of life’s challenges…

Sometimes it is possible to transform tough times into great growth and success.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Intimidation

 

 

 

“He was a big, powerful man and he punched a lot of holes in the walls. I was constantly trying to keep the peace and keep it quiet so he wouldn’t blow up.”

 

 

 

 

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hug your memories to you

 

 

 

Hug your happy memories close to your heart and use them as nourishment when happiness seems to be in short supply.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Take care of your self

 

 

 

“I’d like to encourage other women to put themselves first, to do whatever they need to do to take care of themselves so they can be strong.”

 

 

 

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Kindness

 

 

 

Tread softly…

Please be careful of my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Separation

 

 

 

“Things began to change for the better when I reached the point of saying, ‘I can live without this man if I have to. There was no way I was going to let him destroy me.”

 

 

 

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it takes courage to venture into the unknown

 

 

 

André Gide said: “We cannot discover the oceans until we are willing to lose sight of the shore.”

 

It can take enormous courage to let go and take a leap into the unknown but the reward of finding ourselves in a much better place makes it worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Disbelief

 

 

 

“No one believed that John wasn’t the nice guy he pretended to be. He’d convinced everyone I was the one who was totally at fault.”

 

 

 

 

 

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well lived days

 

 

 

Every well lived day brings its own fulfillment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Women are powerful

 

 

 

“The one thing that kept me going was that I believed in myself as a woman. It doesn’t matter what has happened to them, women do survive. That was my lifeline.”

 

 

 

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Small steps are very empowering

 

 

 

May your small steps lead you to wonderful destinations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sexual abuse

 

 

 

“If I didn’t want sex he’d blame me, slam doors, scream abuse or go out drinking. Heavy emotional blackmail! A lot of the time I gave in just for the sake of peace.”

 

 

 

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love is generosity

 

 

 

Love is an act of generosity we communicate through kindness, respect, acceptance and being willing to reach out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Making a change

 

 

 

“I realized if I wanted change then I had to instigate it . I had to be the one to make myself and my children safe, and start again.”

 

 

 

 

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Make the moments count

 

 

 

Make the moments count…

Sing, dance, laugh, enjoy the changing seasons and spend time with the people you care about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Silence

 

 

 

“The most important thing is not to give up your friends. Although my partner did his best to break up my friendships that circle was not broken.”

 

 

 

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boldness has power

 

 

 

The quote by Goethe: ‘Boldness has genius, power and magic’ reminds us of the power each of us has to positively influence our world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Abuse makes us feel powerless.

 

 

 

“I remember how difficult it was to feel powerless – to long for change and for it not to happen.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Be the change

 

 

 

The statement by Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a wonderful challenge to us all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Leaving is an option.

 

 

 

“If you want to leave you can do it. You need to take one step at a time. The first step may be to pick up the phone and ask for help.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

whatever challenges

 

 

 

I wish you all the clarity and courage you need to overcome whatever challenges you face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Abuse erodes self esteem

 

 

 

“Don’t allow yourself to be robbed of your self-esteem, your individuality and your compassion and love.”

 

 

 

 

 

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small steps out of tough times

 

 

 

Small steps take us out of tough times…

Small steps can transform devastation into growth, Hardships into hope and struggles into wisdom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We can only change ourselves.

 

 

 

“You can’t change your partner. It took me too many years of abuse to realize the only one I could change is me.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Foster your boldness.

 

 

 

Foster your boldness.

It makes things happen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Partner abuse

 

 

 

“When my partner was angry with me he’d drive recklessly in the car, and I found that absolutely terrifying.”

 

 

 

 

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listen within

 

 

 

When we listen within we may hear our heart’s calling…

the sorrow of the past, the guidance pf unexpressed wisdom and the whisper of new dreams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Get help for domestic violence

 

 

 

“I’d really like other women to know there are people who care about them. Find someone you can trust and get their help.”

 

 

 

 

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Our struggles are  not in vain.

 

 

 

Our struggle are not in vain…

They can give us the gift of insight, depth and wisdom and propel us on to better destinations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Communication games

 

 

 

“I’d try to discuss something rationally with my partner and he would immediately start to shout over the top of me.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Together we are strong.

 

 

 

Reciprocity

– giving and receiving –

the dance we do that connects us with each other.

Together we are strong!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Recovery after abuse

 

 

 

“No matter how impossible it seems now, you can create a new life. Just hang onto the belief that it is possible.”

 

 

 

 

 

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We can spread the good

 

 

 

As we brighten another’s world we also brighten our own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mind games feel crazy

 

 

 

“I felt like I was going crazy. I started to doubt what was happening. I wanted to believe it wasn’t that bad.”

 

 

 

 

 

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fresh new days

 

 

 

It’s wonderful to know that storms do not last for ever; that often there are surprises just around the corner…

and that each day is a brand new, unlived day with potential for beautiful things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Domestic violence survivor's words

 

 

 

“My counselor said: “Is this how someone who says he loves you should treat you?”

 

 

 

 

 

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giving is beautiful

 

 

 

Your generosity of spirit does make a difference!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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