Most of us were taught how to push harder, perform better, and keep going — but not how to treat ourselves kindly when we fall short. Self-compassion often feels unnatural at first because the inner critic has had years of practice, while kindness is still learning to speak.

If you’ve spent years over-giving, smoothing tension, or making yourself small to keep others happy, you’re not alone. Many of us learned early that love and safety were earned through compliance — that being “good” meant meeting everyone else’s needs before our own.