Dealing With Abuse Can Lead to Burnout
Day-to-day life can be stressful if we are dealing with the relentless demands, and constant conflict of an abusive, narcissistic partner. It is no wonder that over time we can find ourselves on the slippery slope of burnout, as we deal with the exhaustion that so often accompanies living with abuse.
Burnout is a state of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that comes from coping with an excessive amount of stress that has gone on for too long.
In an abusive relationship, we are at high risk of burnout as we are dealing with someone who is stealing our energy, making unreasonable demands, and creating constant stress,
This power and control obviously take a toll over time.
None of us can continue to function well under constant pressure. We may cope for a time, but stress is cumulative. The effects build up until eventually symptoms appear and we cannot continue to function as we usually do.
A classic symptom of burnout is continuing to keep things going by working harder but achieving less and less for the time and energy we are expending.
When we are suffering burnout, everything seems bleak.
We may feel detached and unable to muster any motivation.
Burnout saps our energy and can leave us feeling overwhelmed, cynical, helpless, hopeless, and resentful.
The symptoms of burnout:
Lack of energy
Feelings of anxiety
Irritability
Chronic worrying
Difficulty making decisions
Memory lapses
Withdrawal from other people
Loss of confidence
Decreasing enjoyment of life
Lack of motivation
Working harder but achieving less
Crying spells
Feeling depressed
Changed sleeping patterns
Loss of sex drive
Changes in food consumption
Increased alcohol consumption
Misuse of drugs
Tension headaches
Heart palpitations
Allergy flare-ups
Other physical symptoms
Panic attacks
Feeling hopeless about life
Sense of helplessness
Feeling disconnected from yourself
Inability to cope with life
Doubts about your sanity
Dread of the future
Thoughts of suicide
Fortunately, burnout doesn’t happen overnight. There are usually many warning signs that can alert us to the fact we are losing ground, such as chronic tiredness, low mood, frequent headaches, or bouts of sickness.
If we listen to these early symptoms and get our life back into balance, we will hopefully stop things from getting worse.
If we don’t, we may get to the point where problems seem insurmountable and we feel we have nothing more to give. We reach a place of chronic fatigue.
How To Prevent Burnout
Be realistic about the abuse you are suffering
Inevitably, mistreatment takes a toll on our mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual health. This cost is significant and needs to be measured against any benefits of the relationship.
Take the symptoms of burnout seriously
Often, we are so intent on coping we fail to acknowledge the symptoms we are experiencing and our declining mental health. We can become burnout without even realizing what is wrong. It is important to take burnout symptoms seriously.
Take special care of yourself
Self-care is a powerful antidote to burnout. To overcome burnout, get back to the basics of healthy eating, regular exercise, and adequate sleep.
Keep your energy for yourself. Make yourself and your well-being your highest priority.
This is a time for you to set clear boundaries by saying no to people’s requests for extra time and energy. Of course, this is extremely difficult to do with a demanding partner.
Take regular breaks
Long-term exhaustion usually accompanies burnout. It is essential to follow the guidance of your body. Slow down and rest as much as possible. Schedule some downtime every day where you can completely disconnect from obligations and demands. Take a nap in the afternoon if possible.
Don’t isolate yourself
Talk to people you trust about how you are feeling and what is happening for you. Ask for the help you need, on a physical and emotional level.
You may also want to pay a visit to your GP who can arrange for you to have some sick leave from your job if needed.
Seek help
Counselling can be a very good option if you are needing support to assess your situation, set boundaries, and put self-care strategies in place. Counselling can help you to clarify exactly what is happening and support you take the necessary steps to improve your situation.
Practice self-compassion
If you have reached a point of burnout, this is through no fault of your own. When we are placed under constant pressure, we all have a breaking point. This is not a personal failure; this is part of being human.
Ask yourself some soul-searching questions
How are my mental, emotional, and physical health and well-being at the moment?
What is contributing to my burnout?
What can I change to improve my situation?
What help do I need to make these changes?
© Copyright Kay Douglas.
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